what’s your love language?
Happy Valentine’s Day!!! This is an appropriate post for the Day Of Love or Cupid or Pink or whatever it is because the following is a journey to a quiz that will identify your personal Love Language that will help you with any relationship whether you’re single, married, committed un-married, a parent, etc…. it’s festive therapy! Take the quiz and let us know your results in the comment section below! I want to know your language and if it sparked any revelations for you too!
I discovered my love language a couple days ago. I was in my car, listening to Oprah on Satellite radio – yes, this is a regular occurrence for me – and she was interviewing doctor and marriage counselor, Gary Chapman, about his book The 5 Languages of Love. There were numerous couples on the show, all raving about how Chapman’s method had “changed everything” and “saved their marriages” because they had identified each others “Love Language.” This idea isn’t just for couples, it’s to help parents and singles, (basically every human being) better understand the language of love. Sometimes we feel unloved when it’s really just being expressed to us in a different “language”! A New York Times #1 Bestseller (for weeks and weeks), the book provides people’s relationships a chance to be strengthened, transformed, or salvaged.
As I was listening, I started pondering which one of the 5 Languages was mine and which one was Joey’s. It wasn’t hard for me to imagine, and I my suspicious were confirmed later when I took the test online, that my language was definitely Words Of Affirmation… basically meaning I feel loved through loving and encouraging words. LIGHTBULB MOMENT Oprah! …she always talks about “lightbulb moments”….anyways, I realized this was why, from time to time, I bugged Joey that he didn’t “compliment me enough” – I know, it sounds whiny. I knew he loved me but in those moments I didn’t feel loved because he wasn’t speaking my language!
Later, when I took the quiz, I scored 0 on the “Receiving Gifts” language (the quiz ranks them in order with the top score being your “language” and if there are others close in score to your language those are important expressions of love to you as well). Joey thought this was hilarious because he loves giving gifts to me and always thought he was expressing so much love when really I’d probably rather have a compliment or, my second ranking, Quality Time. I said “woah woah, this doesn’t mean I don’t want any gifts dude, it’s just they don’t mean as much to me as maybe they do to you because your language includes Gifts!”
Joey’s test results revealed that he ranks Words Of Affirmation as his highest as well. So we’re compatible in that sense but have no fear if your top score is different than your partner. Once you identify the language you will know how to express it. On the Oprah show they told a story about this woman who’s husband divorced her after 10 years of marriage, citing that he didn’t “feel loved by her”. She was shocked because she had laid his clothes out every day and drew his bathwater at night (woah) during their marriage but he said “I didn’t need you to do that” basically, that it didn’t mean anything to him because it wasn’t his language. Obviously her language was Acts Of Service where you express love by doing things like washing dishes, or whatever, drawing baths (oohhhkay), and she thought she was showing her love but in actuality she was speaking love jibberish to him! If she had identified his language she may have been able to express it in a way that made him feel loved…but whatever, he sounds like a weiner anyways.
The point is, take the quiz and learn your love language! Comment and let me know! I want to hear about your experience! If you have a partner, have them take the quiz too. It will be very enlightening and hopefully help you understand yourself so maybe you too, can have a lightbulb moment!
In addition to reading the book, you can watch Chapman discuss love and relationships on Oprah’s Lifeclass.
5 main ways or languages of expressing and receiving love:
Words of Affirmation: words of encouragement and praise. Kind words.
Gifts: Giving meaningful gifts as an expression of love.
Acts of Service: Doing something for someone as an expression of love.
Quality Time: Spending time with the person
Physical Touch: can include a pat, hug etc…
from mommy gratitude:
Take the quiz to discover your love language! Comment and let me know what it is! XO!!!!